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Post by Destiny's Gate on Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:43 pm

Princess Pain in the Butt

As if my day couldn’t get any worse. I’d already been attacked by a bunch of monsters, been eaten alive by a giant fish worshipped by merpeople, and been forced to hold my breath to avoid the bad fish smell. So why, God, why was I being followed by this obnoxious princess?

“How dare you leave me behind?!” she shouted at me for what felt like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. “I could have been attacked by monsters or gotten lost, or worse!”

I didn’t say anything. There was no convincing this princess that it had been necessary for her to sit on the switch—why there were switches inside a fish, I didn’t know—to open some bowel opening for me to kill a big eyeball-thing inside the chamber in order to save their fishy god. I was getting sick of dealing with this brat of a princess. Secretly, I was referring to her as Princess Pain in the Butt, but she didn’t have to know that.

“You’re leaving me behind again!” she shouted at me. “Carry me, I’m tired!”

Silently I cured the brat and turned around. I wanted to remind her what would happen if I carried her and some monsters attacked but knew it would do no good. Sighing inwardly, I scooped her up and walked away. She wasn’t heavy, thankfully, but carrying her made it impossible to drop my sword without dropping her if those floating electric jellyfish monsters attacked again.

After a while of blessed silence, the princess spoke up again. “It stinks in here.”

No duh. We were inside a giant sick fish. Of course it would reek. And be slimy. And worse, be filled with the monsters causing those problems. Speaking of which, it was eerily silent in this room.

“Where’s the monsters?” the princess complained?

Not here, obviously. I seriously wanted to drop her. I did, but not because she was getting irritating. Our friends the monsters had reappeared in greater numbers. “That hurt! Oh, we’ve got company!” She stood and ran to the edge of the room-like chamber of the fish’s guts. “Take care of them!”

Why did she always leave me to fight? Oh right, because she was a freaky fish-girl princess who went inside the giant monster infested fish without a weapon and I was the person with the sword. How could anybody be so stupid in a world filled with things out to get you?

It didn’t take long to beat the monsters, but when I turned around, the bratty princess was gone. I wanted to scream, and I did, swinging my sword furiously at the remains of the monsters. Even she had to know it was dangerous. She wasn’t very smart, but even she had enough brains to know it wasn’t safe.

Ahead I heard a scream. Her scream. By now, I had heard it enough to know it without thinking. Rolling my eyes, I started toward the sound. It probably wasn’t anything too big. Probably another electric jelly fish or—

I froze when I saw the giant beast. That had to be the head honcho. I dug in my magic bag of holding and whipped out my boomerang. There was no way I’d lose to something without eyes.

“You’ve come to rescue me!” the princess cried, gripping the slimy and fleshy bars of her makeshift prison. Well, I couldn’t exactly let her die after promising her father that I’d find her. Besides, I still needed the legendary treasure of her people in order to help another princess, one far cuter and kinder than this spoiled brat.

The battle began. I sidestepped attack after attack, throwing my boomerang and stunning the creature. It was like the weapon I had picked up in the fish had been designed for this fight. Boy, was I glad this fish had an insatiable appetite.

But as we dueled, the battle got harder. I hadn’t sustained any significant damage yet, thankfully, and I wasn’t planning to. There was no way I could lose. This monster of a beast had to be nearly dead. I stunned it once more and went to swing—

“Selena! Dinnertime!”

I missed. How could I miss? It was frozen right in front of me. Before I could attack again, the monster recovered from the temporary paralysis and knocked me across the room with a huge tentacle.

“Selena, get up here before the food gets cold!”

I slammed the start button on the old controller to pause the game. “I’m in the middle of something!”

“Fine. Eat cold fish.”
Sighing, I stood and turned off the TV. I’d save the day later. For now, it was time to save my stomach from starvation.

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Quote : A story's birth is a sudden event. The start, a happy accident. The end, the fate for which it's meant. A story that never ends is a cruel thing.
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Post by Destiny's Gate on Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:48 pm

Please comment on what I can fix or what you think. Thanks~

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Post by JupiterLightning on Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:53 pm

I loved it. ^^

Don't you just hate being interrupted by your mother while you're in the middle of an epic video game battle?

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Post by Guest on Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:56 pm

Destiny's Gate wrote:
Princess Pain in the Butt
---[ ] = Get rid of or change w/ what I filled

As if my day couldn’t get any worse. I’d already been attacked by a bunch of monsters, been eaten alive by a giant fish worshipped by merpeople, and been forced to hold my breath to avoid the bad fish smell. So why[,] God, why was I being followed by this obnoxious princess?

“How dare you leave me behind?!” she shouted at me for what felt like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. “I could have been attacked by monsters or gotten lost, or worse!”

I didn’t say anything. There was no convincing this princess that it had been necessary for her to sit on the switch—why there were switches inside a fish, I didn’t know—to open some bowel opening for me to kill a big eyeball-thing inside the chamber in order to save their fishy god. I was getting sick of dealing with this brat of a princess. Secretly, I was referring to her as Princess Pain in the Butt, but she didn’t have to know that.

“You’re leaving me behind again!” she shouted at me. “Carry me, I’m tired!”

Silently I cured the brat and turned around. I wanted to remind her what would happen if I carried her and some monsters attacked but knew it would do no good. Sighing inwardly, I scooped her up and walked away. She wasn’t heavy, thankfully, but carrying her made it impossible to drop my sword without dropping her[? wording] if those floating electric jellyfish monsters attacked again.

After a while of blessed silence, the princess spoke up again. “It stinks in here.”

No duh. [Inner monologue or not a real sentence?] We were inside a giant sick fish. Of course it would reek. And be slimy. And worse, be filled with the monsters causing those problems. Speaking of which, it was eerily silent in this room. [Don't start sentences with and]

“Where’s the monsters?” the princess complained? [Where are]

Not here, obviously. [Fragment?] I seriously wanted to drop her. I did, but not because she was getting irritating. Our friends the monsters had reappeared in greater numbers. “That hurt! Oh, we’ve got company!” She stood and ran to the edge of the room-like chamber of the fish’s guts. “Take care of them!”

Why did she always leave me to fight? Oh right, because she was a freaky fish-girl princess who went inside the giant monster infested fish without a weapon and I was the person with the sword. How could anybody be so stupid in a world filled with things out to get you?

It didn’t take long to beat the monsters, but when I turned around, the bratty princess was gone. I wanted to scream, and I did, swinging my sword furiously at the remains of the monsters. Even she had to know it was dangerous. She wasn’t very smart, but even she had enough brains to know it wasn’t safe.

Ahead I heard a scream. Her scream. By now, I had heard it enough to know it without thinking. Rolling my eyes, I started toward the sound. It probably wasn’t anything too big. Probably another electric jelly fish or—

I froze when I saw the giant beast. That had to be the head honcho. I dug in my magic bag of holding and whipped out my boomerang. There was no way I’d lose to something without eyes.

“You’ve come to rescue me!” the princess cried, gripping the slimy and fleshy bars of her makeshift prison. Well, I couldn’t exactly let her die after promising her father that I’d find her. Besides, I still needed the legendary treasure of her people in order to help another princess, one far cuter and kinder than this spoiled brat.

The battle began. I sidestepped attack after attack, throwing my boomerang and stunning the creature. It was like the weapon I had picked up in the fish had been designed for this fight. Boy, was I glad this fish had an insatiable appetite.

But as we dueled, the battle got harder. I hadn’t sustained any significant damage yet, thankfully, and I wasn’t planning to. There was no way I could lose. This monster of a beast had to be nearly dead. I stunned it once more and went to swing—

“Selena! Dinnertime!”

I missed. How could I miss? It was frozen right in front of me. Before I could attack again, the monster recovered from the temporary paralysis and knocked me across the room with a huge tentacle.

“Selena, get up here before the food gets cold!”

I slammed the start button on the old controller to pause the game. “I’m in the middle of something!”

“Fine. Eat cold fish.”
Sighing, I stood and turned off the TV. I’d save the day later. For now, it was time to save my stomach from starvation.

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Post by JupiterLightning on Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:57 pm

“Where’s the monsters?” the princess complained?

Was the question mark at the end intentional?

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Post by Destiny's Gate on Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:02 pm

I blame auto-correct for the "draw/drop" typo.

Other than that, it was my typo. XD

And because it's a short story, we follow short story rules. Nod So And can start sentences, and because I'm telling the story with "I" I can ignore a bunch of usual fragment laws.

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Post by Guest on Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:03 pm

^Lucky. >.< I have yet to write a fun paper in 1st person

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Post by Destiny's Gate on Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:04 pm

Teehee~ We had a description before, too. Maybe I should post it here too.

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