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Star Catcher (title subject to change)

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If I were to get this published, what would you do?

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Post by Destiny's Gate Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:45 pm

The beginnings of yet another project of mine. Tell me what you think. Wink

Star Catcher
By Selena Pigoni

Prologue
The ground was littered with junk. Keys, papers, pens, knickknacks of all kinds surrounded serious. He breathed a sigh of relief.

This had been his first mission alone. It had been simple: defeat the Lost Ones and retrieve the objects they’d stolen. That way, the specialists could return the objects to where they belonged.

The staff he held vanished in a flash of light. The light then flew around his neck, becoming a pendant that resembled a metal loop with a crystal dangling in the center. It glittered strangely, seeming to emit light that shouldn’t shine through, but otherwise appeared to be a plain piece of jewelry.

Sirius bent to scoop up the scattered items but paused when he heard something. It wasn’t a dog, the rustling in the bushes was far too quiet for something as solid as a dog. Under normal circumstances, people would think it just a stray breeze, but Sirius had been trained.

“Who’s there?” he called into the underbrush. He gripped his pendant, not moving, not taking his eyes off the bush.

The rustling stilled, but Sirius didn’t dare relax. He inched closer. The metal of the ring dug into his palm. The crystal was hot against his skin. “Come out,” he commanded. His voice was far more steady than he felt.

Still nothing moved in the bush. Perhaps it had just been the wind. Sirius let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. The ring sparked as he released it, but as far as Sirius could tell, things were safe.

“Oh, stop overreacting,” he muttered to the dangling pendant. It vibrated against his skin as he turned to collect the miscellaneous items scattered around him, but he ignored it. If anything had been there, it must have gone.

There was the sharp sound of branches breaking. Sirius spun around, ripped the necklace off it’s chain. But it was too late. The claw smashed into his head before the staff could fully form.

As he fell back, vision going gray and hazy, he watched the creature snap at the half-formed weapon in his hand, smashing it to pieces. The shards glowed and scattered, leaving only the empty metal ring in Sirius’s grasp.

“Damn,” the creature hissed. Its body was long, snakelike, but spiky. Its sharp head swiveled to look upon Sirius’s still, half-conscious form. “I suppose you’d still make a good snack.”

It’s mouth opened impossibly wide, splitting in four parts like a disgusting flower with teeth. Not that the beast needed them for what he’d soon be feasting on. It sucked in air, mouth inches from Sirius’s face. Something left the boy, distorting the air between the two. The longer the thing breathed in, the thinner the distortion became, and the emptier the Sirius’s eyes became. Soon, what once was a struggle for life had been replaced by a blank stare in his face.

When there was nothing left to breathe in, the creature closed its mouth and raised a claw. Blood. Blood would be delicious. The boy’s life would soon be its own.

A sound stopped the beast. Voices. Laughter, even. It hissed at the unwelcome sound and vanished into the shadows as if it had never been. Smaller creatures appeared then, foragers snatching the debris of objects around the clearing and disappearing once more with them.

Within minutes all that remained was nothing more than the shell of a human boy, slowly bleeding to death.
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Quote : A story's birth is a sudden event. The start, a happy accident. The end, the fate for which it's meant. A story that never ends is a cruel thing.
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Post by JupiterLightning Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:27 pm

Ooooh. Sounds interesting so far!

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Post by Destiny's Gate Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:54 pm

I hope so. Smile I've been mulling this one over for years.
Destiny's Gate
Destiny's Gate
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Quote : A story's birth is a sudden event. The start, a happy accident. The end, the fate for which it's meant. A story that never ends is a cruel thing.
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