Things to say to Telemarketers

No one likes to be called by telemarketers. Especially since there's never anyone live to annoy back.

So, what would you say to telemarketers, if there was a real person on the other end of the line?

Could be things you've really said to them.

*creepy voice* Sseven daaaaaaaayssssssss

My uncle's messaging machine says:

"ALL TELEMARKETERS CAN HANG UP NOW! As for everyone else, please leave a message"

XD

Do what my grandparents do: BLAST EM WITH AN AIR HORN!

If I actually answered the phone, I'd probably do this:
"Bonjour, je ne parle pas anglais."
Not many people know French. Advantages, advantages.

I'd do it in Japanese.

"Moshi moshi? Eh? Sumimasen. Watashi wa eigo wo hanasemasen."

This one is a little mature but...

Spoiler:

What's really fun is...

"Hello this is 911. What's your emergency?"

And when they inevitably hang up, you call them back and go, "We got a hang up from this line. Are you all right?"

"Hello, this is pizza hut, what would you like to order?"

Just play elevator music.
That's what I would do.

When "Vote for Blank" volunteers call, troll them with the facts.

I usually just hang up as of late, too lazy to say anything

A Romney group called someone in the commuters lounge.

Caller: Obama supports the murder of unborn children and the destruction of marriage! Do you?
Commuter: Why yes. Yes I do.

Put them on hold.