Favorite Quotes

Me: No!!!! My computer froze! >_<
Cat: *rubs face against computer*
*computer starts working*
Me: O.O TECHY CAT!!!!

True story. I have a tech-savvy cat.

"Don't mind him! He's just irritable because he hasn't gotten any lately." -the wonderful fictitious child

lmao

"Everyone knows it's the boy fairy who has the baby!"
~Fairly Odd Parents

..............KEEGAN

My GF is constantly singing this parody of 'Make a Man out of you' from Mulan....

'You must be swift as a coursing Demyx
with all the strength of a great Xaldin
with all the force of a raging Axel
mysterious as, the dark side of, SAIIIIX!!!'

She sings it all the time xD I'm pretty sure she got it from the Demyx Time peoples.

That's pretty funny. And it fits.

"It was an awesome little description, and the character came across as a moody little cow! Well done!"

~Someone on Deviantart

Proof I know how to write. ^_^

"Breaking News:
The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move on, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get The Hell Over It. Any complaints about how we operate, forward em to 1-800-waa-aaah with Dr. Whogivzadamn. Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin'. If you like this, repost it. If you don't... suck it up sunshine! Life doesn't revolve around you."
~Something my dad got on his cell.

Joey reached into the box and pulled out a fully decorated, ceramic Christmas tree about a foot and a half tall. It rested on a small wooden stand that featured a very large, very tempting red button right in the center of it. "Hey, what's this button do?"

"Ah, famous last words..." Tristan reached over and took the tree from Joey, holding it up to demonstrate. "Have you ever seen those picture frames that let you record personal messages and play them back?" Joey bit his lip, nodding. "Well, this is the same kind of thing. You push the button, and it spits out a random phrase, all pre-recorded by yours truly, along with the rest of the gang, too. Go ahead and give it a try."

Joey eagerly pressed the button, and was instantaneously greeted by Yugi's chipper voice, bright and crystal clear: "Merry Christmas, Joey and Seto!" A huge smile graced the blond's features and, awestruck, he pressed it again, only to hear a surly, "Get that thing the fuck out of my face!" from Bakura. Tristan shrugged. "Some people were more co-operative than others."

So supposedly the world is going to end tomorrow and my friend is getting married tomorrow, so this is what she had to say: "The world can end all it wants to tomorrow. I'll die the happiest girl alive."

Well, so far so good. I love your friend's attitude.

"Steve only knows two words in Spanish, Si, which is yes, and tortuga which is tortoise. Great job Steve."
~Crocodile Hunter. LOL

Talking to My Dad

Me: So I asked myself, what would jesus do, then I told the guy we hadn't paid for the ice cream yet.
My Dad: Jesus would've walked off with his free ice cream.

"As I'm sure you all know, today is the rapture. And since you're all listening to this program, that means one of two things. Either we didn't make it and so we're stuck, or the more likely reason, we've all ascended to heaven. That's right, heaven is listening to this radio program. Man, if I knew listening to this was heaven I would've covetted my neighbor's wife a little more."

~Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, NPR

"Guys! It's okay! We don't have to worry about the rapture. I've got a time turner!"
~My friend Rachel

"KISS THE RING B H!!!"

~My brother

Me (at work): You know, it's times like these I wish I had minions.

"Someone stole Chole's collar? Oh, I'm gonna go all kinds of Mexican on them!"
~ Papi; beverly hills chihuahua

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape a good day and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that that an idiot like that ever became a professor. Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

"What were you doing in the closet?" the man asked.

"I live in there," Lavi replied sarcastically. He stood and brushed himself off indignantly.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Do you really?"

~a fanfic I can't find the title for

"The Mandelbrot set is a little messy -- this is Chaos"
-Sheldon, Big Bang Theory
(the mathematical definition of Chaos makes this funny)

"Yes, you had a sad beginning, but it's the rest of your story that makes you who you are."

~Soothsayer, Kung Fu Panda 2

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side!"
-Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

Another nerdy math joke...

Me: *writing a fanfic* I can't help but make Sora an idiot.
My friend: Well, it's practically canon anymore.