Make a Wish and Have it Corrupted

Granted. Everyone becomes super-geniuses and you feel inadequate for the rest of your life.

I wish I felt better...

Granted. But then you see an ugly fat guy naked walking down your street, and you vomit out everryythhhinng.

I wish for my dogs to stop CLAIMING MY BED! (I have 2 inches of room here)

Granted. Cats claim it instead.

I wish my SIs did schedule review sessions all at the same time.

Granted. They're all at exactly the same time, meaning you can't attend them.

I wish I remember what I was telling my brother about.

Granted. But by time you do he's lost interest.
(By the way I meant to say didn't, not did... I'm typing things on my Droid right now that's why.)

I wish my finals were over with already!

Granted. But then there's surprise final-finals!

I wish my soup would cool.

Granted. It is now -273 degrees C.

I wish home wasn't so far away.

Granted. It's now down the street from college and you have to deal with our sucky weather ALL THE TIME.

I wish our chocolate covered marshmallows would harden already.

Granted. They harden and then explode. LOL!

I wish my family understood why I eat tomato soup and Cheez-its!

Granted. They find that it's delicious and eat it all so you never get any again. (that sounds good, actually)

I wish my friend would reply to her email already.

[IT IS DELICIOUS!]

Granted, but my email shuts down.

I wish my friend understood PATIENCE!!!! XD!

Granted. She wasn't talking about you and never answers emails from you again.

I wish for my very own Stitch.

Granted. He eats you.

I wish for CAKE!

Granted. The cake is a lie, though. A tasty, tasty lie.

I wish my mom had her own computer so I wouldn't have to sneak on to my brothers' while she uses mine. -_-

Granted. But it's all new and has to ask you sixty questions about it.

I wish for potatoes.

Granted. They're rotten.

I wish my cat would stop licking my hand while I try to type.

Granted. It now tries to nom your head instead.

I wish I could sit still for long enough to study.

Granted. You log off this site and focus on studying. In the end, you forget that you were going to come over here and miss out on some delicious goodies.

I wish for pirates to win this battle! ^_^ (long story)

Granted. They win that battle but lose against the NINJAS!!!! (FUCK YEAH!!!)

I wish to see Warrior's Way this week.

Granted. It's the worst movie ever created. Even worse than Twilight. ...And people sparkle.

I wish more Disney movies were good.

Granted. They now have tons of explosions and action, so they are good to many people.

I wish astronomy wasn't complicated.

Granted. Biology gets more complicated instead, making your major just as hard and possibly harder.

I wish I had a Pokemon.

Granted. Its a Likitounge.


I wish the cafeteria here served better food.

Granted. It's better for you, and by law, all foods that are good for you must taste terrible.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted, guess whose loaded on caffeine now and has to go to the bathroom? YOU ARE!

I wish my dog would not get stuck under the table (how this that even possible?).